Connecting to Spirit and Melting Doubts.


I’ve been going to a workshop every Tuesday night for three months to develop my intuitive and medium skills. That’s right, I see the future and talk to dead people. (Surprise! But, trust me, mostly it’s been a surprise to me.) The first time I spoke to a deceased loved one was only about a year ago and, while it was a shock, the information came to me clear as day; tears flowed down my cheeks as I connected to a woman named Allie’s late husband. I was tapping into something powerful and it was undeniable. A few months later I went to Allie’s house, and the vision I saw of her bedroom months before matched exactly what lay before me in real life.  I rushed to one corner to get the perspective I had been shown in my vision and of course, unbeknownst to me, that is exactly where her husband’s ashes sat on her nightstand.  I couldn’t deny  my accuracy, and it confirmed what I knew to be true.  After a few spot-on readings, I struggled with the implications, and potential hazards of being a medium. I wasn’t ready for it nor did I feel comfortable with how it might define me.  However after I returned to New York from a 5 day silent retreat in the wilderness, I had a totally new perspective.  It was finally clear to me that exercising my intuitive gifts was just what I needed to do.  The pull was so strong that not doing it didn’t seem like an option.  I had also come to feel like it was neither good nor bad, it just was.  Plus if I really wanted to heal people I needed to show them that consciousness lives on.  With this new found clarity, I committed to a practice workshop every Tuesday night with other psychics and mediums, many of whom are professionals.
While I have been generally getting the hang of it, I felt really uneasy with my performance in last Tuesday’s class.  First of all, I was late and missed the chill-inducing meditation.  I was thrown into the class which was well into motion and handed a blindfold.  I reluctantly put the blindfold on and was instructed to start reading the person seated across from me. I guess this was the point of the blindfold because I had no idea who I was reading… I launched in and connected to a spirit anyway. “I have a woman here who is named Meredith or has an M name…”  I said. With this information my partner tapped my knee twice. This wasn’t good.  You get one tap on the knee if you are right or YES, two taps for NO, three taps if they don’t know.  So apparently this person does not know a deceased Meredith. I continued anyway, “she is a neighbor, maybe your mother’s friend?” Two taps again. “Long hair. She had a dog.” Two taps and oy!, my confidence was plummeting. “Okay let me get proof that they have survived and are watching you now… Okay, now I am seeing a brown dog and brushing teeth, like you just brushed a dog’s teeth?” Two taps (NO!). I was gutted. “Should I move on to another spirit then?” I asked. One tap (Yes).
The rest of the workshop felt luke warm. I thought I might be connecting to spirit but I was doubting everything.  I think there was a good chance we are all crazy.  Who was Meredith?  If she wasn’t anyone related to the person I was talking to, could she just been a figment of my imagination?  It’s possible.  What’s also possible is that we are all just making it all up. A bunch of loonies.  The paranoid, questioning thoughts poured in. Then just as I left the class two woman came scurrying over to me.  One grabbed my arm and said, “You were reading me!” I said “What?” The other woman chimed in, “You were supposed to be reading me but you ended up reading this woman who was sitting next to us.” I looked at the two women and I said “Wait, you know a Meredith who died and she is your Mom’s friend?!”  The woman enthusiastically looked at me and said, “Yes! And, she was our neighbor!”  I was floored, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, still doubtful I asked “What about the dog and seeing a dog who had its teeth brushed?” She then looked up at the sky searching for a memory and with obvious surprise replied, “Yes, actually just yesterday I took my friend’s dog to the Vet and the Vet brushed the dog’s teeth right in front of me!”  Upon hearing this I raised my hands up in the air and enthusiastically said, “Thank you!”  And all my doubts melted.
This experience renewed my faith. Why did I let the immediate set of circumstances inform my understanding of the greater Truth?  Faith is about trusting even if everything in our current situation tells you think otherwise.  I now understand that it is only a matter of time before we are revealed what we ultimately know to be true, again.  I shouldn’t have allowed what seemed like a lost cause to be just that.  I should have had faith and hoped that Spirit would show me the way. I let the doubts surface.  The good news is, I believe that our doubts will melt if we can remember that no matter how long we are seemingly left out on a limb, we will always be brought in again — it’s just a matter of time.
Follow my journey through my blog posts by signing up for my newsletter! I will highlight all the people, books, and videos, that have influenced my incredible journey toward Awakening. These resources have guided me and influenced me to maintain a high vibration. With each new teaching, I dove deeper and deeper into discovering and celebrating my inner magic, my innate wisdom and my gift to heal (p.s.these are all things you have too!). 
(Photo credit:

Leave a Comment