"How I Manifested My Fab Apartment—With a Little Help from Mold"
new spot, first sunrise
I recently walked into what would soon become my new home, and from the moment I stepped into the living room, I was blown away.
Twelve-foot ceilings, huge, butterfly-wing-like, east-facing windows pouring in warm light, gorgeous old wood floors—and just nine blocks from the beach. The kitchen and bathrooms were freshly renovated with Spanish tiles, and the price? Right on the nose of my exact budget.
But, let me be real—the road to get here was kinda painful.
So last July, a white envelope appeared in my mailbox. As I carefully opened the typed letter, a wave of sadness and frustration washed over me. The landlord was explaining that he needed my apartment back because he planned to move in. "Well, I wouldn’t have just bought that new couch for my healing room if I knew I had to move!" was one of the many thoughts that raced through my mind.
A few days later, I left a voicemail for a friend, and all my emotions were still bubbling up. In the message, I overheard myself say, "I feel like something I love is being taken away." The moment I heard those words, I knew there was work to do.
I was in a place of victimhood, and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that my higher self is always looking out for me—and nothing in my life happens without my consent. That said, I’m human, and I was feeling the feels.
It’s probably worth mentioning that I’ve been very fond of my sweet Southern Californian home—it’s been my cocoon, where I healed and birthed so much, including my group offerings.
So, what was this unexpected “eviction” bringing up for me?
As I often suggest to my clients, I paused, dropped into my body, and rewound the clock to investigate where my feelings were coming from. (Triggered? Feel the heat then, do what I call “Stop, Drop And Roll” Stop, drop into your body, and roll the clock back.) And when I did this, something from my childhood came rushing back.
This might surprise you, but I remembered when my parents took away my beloved pacifier. It might seem trivial to an adult, but to my toddler self, I was devastated. In that moment, I subconsciously decided that things we love can be taken away against our will and our best interest.
With this revelation, I realized I needed to help that younger part of me—toddler Tahra—understand the truth I know now: everything is happening for me. But to embody this belief, I had to honor her pain first. I had to acknowledge the grief she was still holding onto from that time.
So, here’s what I did:
I placed my hand on my heart and offered little Tahra love.
I sat quietly and imagined what she must have felt the morning she woke up to find her pacifier taken away—like a betrayal. I held space for her anguish, gently saying, "I see you're sad. I see you’re hurt.” I gave her the empathy she didn’t have at that time.
Then, I gently explained to her that I would never let anything bad happen to her. I told her that everything is working out for her, including the loss of the apartment. I reassured my past and present self: "It's time to spread your wings. It's time for the next phase of your life."
Finally, I shifted my perspective from what Alan Watts calls 'spotlight consciousness' to 'floodlight consciousness,' so I could see more clearly how I actually wanted this move.
Honestly, this may sound wild, but I believe the secret to life is aligning with the part of you that knows everything happening right now is, in some way, what you actually want, no matter how ugly or painful the current reality appears. To do that, we have to acknowledge and honor our subconscious—the child within us that may still be breaking open old wounds so we can regrow stronger skin.
THE MOLD
Alright, alright. You want to know about the mold and the manifesting, don’t you? Stick with me.
So, after I got the eviction notice, and after I tended to my inner child, I asked my landlord for an extension. I was ready to go—but not that ready. The landlord agreed and gave me two extra two months.
Right when I was supposed to leave, according to the original schedule, the symptoms began.
Post-nasal drip, labored breathing, digestive issues—it was like a symphony of unrest that I couldn’t ignore anymore. I needed to start looking for a new place and fast! But, where was I going to go? And what did I want?
THE MANIFESTING
After looking at a bunch of places all over the country, I finally got crystal clear on what I wanted—and, just as important, what I didn’t want—in a new home.
So, I sat down and wrote the list. I got specific. Real specific.
I wanted: two big bedrooms, the ideal price, second floor, plenty of trees outside the windows, great light, within walking distance to the beach, outdoor space, and at least 1,000 square feet. Then, I visualized it—really felt into what it would be like when it all came together.
The next morning, I got a listing in my inbox that ticked almost all the boxes. I just knew this was the spot. But there was one catch—it didn’t have outdoor space. No balcony. Weird, right? Still, I was feeling a vibe.
I called to set up an appointment, and they told me they wouldn’t be showing the place for another two weeks. Fine, I thought. Patience.
In those two weeks, I saw every apartment that wasn’t it. I started spiraling.
WTF, Universe? I thought I was manifesting my dream home, but where was it? I was finding places with zero light, bad energy, and prices that made me question my life choices.
I started doubting everything. I even had a little chat with myself, reminding myself that it would be a fundamental misunderstanding of who I am if I settled for an apartment that didn’t excite me. I needed to feel excited.
Meanwhile, the mold symptoms (remember those?) were still lurking, whispering, “go now.” My fears were getting louder and louder, telling me to pick something, anything. But my intuition—oh, that sweet little voice—was like, “Nope. Not good enough. You will get the perfect place.”
Life is trip, am I right? Wooooooooah!
So, I called my friend Kristina Marie, who lifts me up. She reminded me that I can—and will—find exactly what I want. When in doubt, call a friend who doesn’t believe in compromise. When you are wavering, remember to lean on that friend who will take you to the vibration of our Great Spirit.
And then came the day of my appointment. I walked in with my heart pounding. As I mentioned, the listing didn’t have a balcony, but what do you know… There was a balcony!!!!
It was like the Universe was giving me a secret handshake because I kind of don’t think the balcony even existed before I viewed the apartment!
This is manifesting, I thought, as I signed the lease. This is what alignment feels like.
And, as I talked about in my intuition course, Your Sixth Sense, Spirit always gives you a little wink if you’re open to receiving it…
Apartment 14, car spot 3—143. 143 means I love you.
Oh. Wow. I felt that, deep in my soul, and I let my inner little girl feel it, too.
So now, I ask you: what ‘unwanted thing’ is happening in your life right now? Is it possible that it is here to expand you into something more aligned with who you really are? If so, what?
With my lovvvvve,
Tahra
P.S. Want to manifest consciously with me, in an intimate group next year? Get on the waitlist for Fruition 2025!